A Guide To Elevate Your Life: Self-Love Edition
Showcasing my tattoo that reads, “The only true guardian of piece lies within” while soaking up the sunshine.
It’s a new year and our big theme we’re focusing on is self-love.
Not because last year we didn’t, but because this year we have big plans and in the midst of accomplishing them, we want to be gentle with ourselves.
Julian and I, collectively and separately, went through a dark night of the soul last year (keep reading to further understand what this means). The universe threw us curve balls we weren’t expecting. We had career changes in January 2023 that were unexpected, went our separate ways from people that had previously been a core aspect of our lives, and had to consistently lean into the uncomfortable edges that lies within growth. We released so much: Tears, limiting beliefs, expectations, and above all, control.
For the first time in a long time, we found ourselves confused financially, emotionally drained, and not knowing exactly where we went wrong. Now, after getting through it, reclaiming our truth, and defining exactly how we re-established harmony within our lives, we understand we were shedding what was no longer for our highest and best good.
We dove deep into shadow work, experiencing first hand how when you decide to go within yourself and do the work that is so easy to neglect, while difficult, it births so much light. And not only does the universe repay you for doing the work, but you get to show up in this world restored, whole, and reinvigorated to share the medicine that is YOU.
Last year tested us as an individual, a couple, and as parents. But through every ebb and flow that came, we were able to strengthen the sacred space within our marriage; Fully giving each other a safe space to feel our feelings, to sift through our thoughts, and plan for a brighter future.
It was a year of intense growth, consistently having to go back and find the meaning within each lesson we were given, and then integrating those lessons so that we could grow and evolve.
So this year, self-love will continue to be a priority as we embark on some new and exciting adventures that are unfolding within our lives and business, and we wanted to share with you the lessons we’ve learned so that they can help you, too.
Before we begin, I want to define two of the topics we’ll be discussing:
What is a dark night of the soul?
A dark night of the soul refers to a profound spiritual crisis by those on a spiritual journey. During this period, individuals may feel a sense of despair, loss of meaning, or a deep sense of confusion. It is often characterized by emotional and psychological turmoil, catalyzing an inward journey of self-discovery. It is a transformative process leading to growth.
What is shadow work?
Shadow work is the process of exploring and integrating the unconscious aspects of yourself, known as the “shadow.” It can include emotions, desires, traits, or even past experiences that you may find unacceptable or have repressed due to societal norms, how you were raised, or personal limitations.
Engaging in shadow work involves acknowledging, accepting, and integrating these hidden aspects into our conscious mind. By doing so, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, overcome inner conflicts, and achieve greater emotional awareness, wholeness, and authenticity. This introspective work can inspire you to live and be who you were truly made to be.
5 tips to elevate your life
☼ Practice gratitude daily
We recommend first thing every morning to start a gratitude practice. Gratitude shifts your perspective from a mindset of what you lack, to appreciating what you already have.
List seven things you are grateful for. This looks different for everyone. It can be something simple like the air you breathe, or something specific to just you. Allow your heart to explore and guide you to the things you are appreciative in your life.
This simple, beneficial practice will open your heart, posture your mind towards joy, and like a magnet, it sets the rest of your day up to receive more things for you to be grateful for.
☼ Get clear on what you want
Having a generalized idea of what you want to achieve in work, life, or even just for the day is beautiful, but funneling down that vision in order to set very specific, clear goals provides you with a compass on where you need to go.
In order to clarify your desires, you have to go inside of yourself and connect with your ideal life. Once you go inward and you’re able to define your goals, you are able to walk toward your goals with intentional steps.
☼ Do everything in the name of self-love
When you love yourself, you make better decisions for yourself. You’re motivated to take care of yourself, establish healthier habits, prioritize your peace, and strive for your goals. You start shifting perspectives on things like self-discipline, which can easily take on a negative connotation, but when you’re living from a place of self-love it doesn’t.
If you’re struggling with where to begin in developing your self-love, here’s a tried and true practice that worked for me:
Mirror work: Look yourself in the mirror and intentionally mention things out loud that you like about yourself. Ex: “I really like my curly hair.” “I’m a genuine, trustworthy person.” “My hair is soft.” Get creative.
This work is a potent mindset shifter, pulling your attention to what you like rather than dislike. It will also build a foundation and connection with yourself.
While practicing, make sure to be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. Be present with every emotion that arises, and journaling about the experience afterwards can help you integrate what comes up.
☼ Explore your shadow
Engaging in shadow work can bring the unconscious aspects of yourself to the light (or your conscious mind), helping you to understand your triggers, desires, and emotions on a deeper level.
Accepting and integrating the unpleasant, darkest parts of ourselves is not easy work. It takes radical honesty, unwavering commitment and valiant vulnerability. Shadows within you that you’re afraid to walk through are the most important spaces for you to explore; it is there your transformation typically lives.
To see yourself as a whole is to accept yourself in the light, at your peak, and comfort yourself in the shadow, in your valley’s low. It’s brave to admit imperfection. I hope you can make eye contact with it, allow yourself to feel the uneasiness of it all, and choose to extend that part of yourself some true love, anyways.
The most traumatized corners of your being deserve intense, passionate, and profound grace, too.
☼ Gravitate towards the things, people, and places that bring you joy
Allow what you feel in your heart to be a guide for your life. Your emotions are there to teach you, don’t neglect them. Instead, tune into them. Genuinely gravitate towards the things that make you feel the sunshine from the inside out, and work to move on from the situations that are not benefiting your future.
Be You ⋆˙⟡
Be Bizaar ⋆˙⟡
Be You ⋆˙⟡ Be Bizaar ⋆˙⟡
While this concludes the tips I want to share for now, there are many more to come. Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart and our truth with you. My hope is that you allow these tips to ignite joy in your life and catalyze the journey of loving yourself.
& a reminder for you, as long as you’re harming no one, show up as yourself unapologetically. This world needs who you were made to be.
So long, for now, loves.
Xox,
Tejah B
We are Julian & Tejah Besecker
We’ve sown a sacred space for growth, separately and together, focusing on rising into our divine femininity and masculinity. While working to overcome the traumas we endured at young ages, we immersed ourselves in nature, discovering how the elements can assist in our mending. We postured our minds to healing through multiple forms of meditation, worked to integrate our shadows, and found new lifestyle habits that have led us to become the people that we are today; open hearted with a drive to spew love and the wisdom we have learned along the way. With bliss and health, we are stepping forward authentically into this space to share what has worked for us, in hopes of providing you and the souls around us with the same level of healing and rejuvenation.